The Sickest Day

Today is the one year anniversary of the day that everything changed. It was the day that Owen’s course became “complicated” (that is the technical term, but it feels all too simple of word, if you ask me). It was the day I learned the difference between a parent fearing for your child and the doctors fearing for your child. It was the day I took a ½ hour break from Owen’s bedside to go to our room and plead with God to not take my son. I have never felt so vulnerable.

I think this picture of Owen and I on May 24, 2011 says enough; for I have yet to find words to explain the myriad of emotions I have about that day and those that followed. I had forgotten that there were pictures taken. I had deleted them from my cell phone because I hated the reminders. But recently, I found that I had put them on Snapfish and I was really proud of the woman I saw in this picture. I started a ritual on that sickest day of Owen’s, and I’m guessing that I’m doing it when this photo was taken. I put one hand on his tiny head and one on his tiny feet and as I swaddled him I’d silently say to him, “Owen, take my strength, I will find more”. And he did. And I did too.

Owen and Tatum shortly before Owen's emergency bowel surgery, May 24, 2011

© Copyright Tatum, All rights Reserved. Written For: Ain't No Roller Coaster

13 thoughts on “The Sickest Day

  1. As I read this blog I am flooded with emotion, you have made God even more real to me. Every thing in life happens for a reason…you now are a conduit bringing strength and courage to others who are facing challenges in thier lives. Tatum you have become an inspiration

  2. Owen is such a strong amazing little man and you are such a strong amazing mother. I truly admire you and although I cannot imagine what you have been through, I am so glad you take the time to fill us in on your journey. I cannot wait to meet that little man!!!

  3. Owen is gaining strength each and every day. You, Kyle and his loving big brother Kellen are working full time for Owen to reach his potential. Love his smile too.
    Grandpa Corky loves this little guy.
    Tatum, you are the best!

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  5. Hi Tatum
    You and I dont know eachother well. But I wanted you to know that I’ve followed your story since the day so many months ago when Rosie called and told Joe and I that you had had your baby and he was so early. I read every post on Caring Bridge and I follow your blog. I’ve cried with you and smiled and laughed with you. I pray for your family regularly. I of course can’t possibly fully understand what you have been through. But as a mom I can imagine that the depth of feeling that shows through in your writing really doesn’t begin to scratch the surface. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that Joe and I think of your family daily and have and will continue to pray for Owen’s continued improvement! Love Jasmine

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