The other side of the coin

So, last night my post did turn into a whiny post.  I ended on a relatively positive note…but I did get out some whining.  It felt good to get it off my chest and I love hearing other moms say, they feel the same sometimes.  Not that I want any mom to feel like she can’t take care of herself, but I’m glad to hear it’s not just me.

My only regret about that post last night is that I apologized.  I never want to be that annoying person who only focuses on what’s bad in their life, but I also know everyone deserves a release everyone once in a while.  Holding it in is harmful.  The key for me is stomping my feet and pouting on occasion so I can get it out and move forward.

The truth is, I do get time out.  Last Friday, I texted a few friends at 6PM asking if anyone was up for an impromptu night out after the kids were in bed.  I had, not one, but two takers!  We had drinks and dessert (I’m noticing a dessert theme with me) and it was a wonderful time.  The next morning, Kyle got up with the boys and I slept until 9:00.

When I can’t get out because Kyle is out-of-town, all I have to do is send a note to friends and someone always makes time to come visit.

In the not too distant future, you’ll see pictures of Kellen and I at the airport as we head off for a trip to Grandma Sue’s.

Next month, I am going to spend two Friday afternoons learning to quilt from a NICU friend.

Get this, I’m also going to a concert next month with 7 friends from high school.  I haven’t seen any of these women since 1995.

There is also social media.  ANRC doesn’t reach a large audience (it’s pretty small peanuts in the blogger world), but I truly believe it has as interactive of group of readers of many, much bigger blogs.  I love this community and all of you have been an important part of my healing and day-to-day sanity.

I’m not going to pretend that life can’t be overwhelming sometimes  but the truth is, I have a wonderful support system and I hope everyone knows how much I appreciate it.

And that, is the other side of the coin.

kevin dooley / / CC BY
© Copyright Tatum, All rights Reserved. Written For: Ain't No Roller Coaster

4 thoughts on “The other side of the coin

  1. I think it’s OK to complain to a certain point. I do get annoyed by people who complain all the time about trivial stuff. However, the stuff special needs moms are dealing with isn’t trivial. I think it’s unfair for people to expect special needs moms to be strong and positive all the time. It aggravates me when people say trite things after I admit that I’m scared for my baby or that I’m struggling at times. We’ve all heard them way to many times… “Things happen for a reason.”… “God, doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” … “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” It’s even worse when someone says, “But, you’re so strong.” as if being anything but strong isn’t an option. I think my least favorite is when someone dismisses my feelings by telling an anecdote about another baby and concluding that because that baby is fine, mine will be.

    Don’t get me wrong… I’m so grateful that my micro-preemie is home with me. I cry with joy at things other parents take for granted. Conversely, I do have those days when I am overwhelmed and scared. I don’t think I should have to apologize for expressing that. I don’t think you should have to either.

  2. Think of this, Tatum. I’m soon to be 68 years old and you are an inspiration to me! I always thought younger women learned valuable life lessons from older women. However, you have been a wonderful example of an older woman experiencing many ‘aha’ moments from a woman much younger. I find this most interesting and want you to know that I so value your openness, honesty and perspective. You are a gift to many!

  3. Tatum, you are so not alone. I read your post last night thinking “Oh I have been there…ooooooooh I am so there right NOW.”

    I get it. And you are right, I too have a lot to be thankful for, and I do get “me” time. Sometimes it doesn’t seem often enough for whatever rhythm or reason. Like right now… I’ve got two sick kiddos at home and we just cant seem to shake this virus. All I want is a good nights sleep – without worry – and a moment by myself without (and I know you’ll appreciate this) some type of bodily fluid on my or a child smothering me. Doesn’t mean I am not grateful, just tired.

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