You know you’ve spent too much time in the NICU when…

This one is for the preemie parents

You know you’ve spent too much time in the NICU when…

  • In your head, you can get really close when converting grams to pounds.
  • You see a four pound (~1.8 Kilos) baby and think it looks nice sized.
  • You see an eight pound (~3.6 kilos) baby and think it must be 6 months old.
  • You can tell how sick a baby is just by their placement in the nursery.
  • You silence your baby’s alarm and the nursing staff doesn’t mind / is appreciative for the help.
  • You have pumped while having a conversation with a doctor and don’t think it’s all that weird.
  • You know what each of these acronyms mean and they flow off your tongue like it’s normal language:  CBG, CPAP, CRP, IUGR, IVH, NEC, NG, NNP, NPO,  OG, PVL, PDA, PICC, PEEP, ROP, RT, TPN.
  • You know who is going to be working before you arrive at the hospital because you’ve figured out the nurses schedules.
  • The staff feels like friends you’ve known forever.
  • You would rather you, than staff, hold your baby down for procedures.
  • You request specific nurses for blood draws and IV insertions.
  • You have a panic attack if you can’t find your phone.
  • You heart stops every time you hear the phone ring.
  • You stop breathing when you see it’s the hospital that is calling.
  • You immediately know the seriousness of the call based on who’s making it (Nurse, Resident, Attending)
  • When your baby stops breathing for a couple of seconds you calmly rub their back and don’t think it’s that big of a deal
  • The “bing, bing, bing” reminding you that your car keys are in the ignition causes your hand to reflexively find a monitor to silence.

What do you have to add?